Friends or Foes?

I guess it takes a broken foot and the inability to complete usually basic tasks to find out who your true friends are. What's maybe more sad, is that I would, had I a vehicle, most gladly drive around a crippled friend in need whenever I could. I need to finish out the semester of classes, but any of my schoolmates that have vehicles, especially one that I thought was a good friend, are unwilling to help. And for money and parking at that! Oh well, I guess I will be crutching my way downtown for the next 4 weeks. Look for me and, if you see me hobbling along, throw something at me. It would only improve my situation.

Broken Heart and Broken Bones

The last couple of weeks have been ridiculous. And, just as a quick disclaimer, this post is not a pity cry, but my first opportunity to fully acknowledge my recent string of horrendous luck.

Sooooo...

Exactly 3 weeks ago, I had found a lump in my breast while showering. Now, being only 25, I thought nothing of it. However, I figured I would mention it in passing to my mother due to the heavy presence of breast cancer in my family. My mother recommended I go see a doctor just to be safe. That proved to be a good and bad idea. Good, because the doctor said I needed to see a specialist and bad because "seeing a specialist" meant a biopsy and tons of tests. I immediately freaked out and assumed it was cancer. Of course, after a quick flight to Michigan and a few days at U of M hospital, I was cleared of cancer, but informed that the tumor they found needed to be removed ASAP. My appointment is this coming Monday. While I'm going through all of this ridiculousness, my boyfriend was supporting me and scared for me and loving me more than ever before. It was comforting to feel his emotions come out. Then, 3 days after I was cleared, he broke up with me.

Citing that he had to figure himself out and get his life together, he decided that I was to no longer be a part of it. I am finally beginning to be ok with his call. I mean, I basically dedicated my life and heart to someone who was, for the most part, cold and unreceptive. How was I fooling myself that I was 100% happy. The only thing that was making me happy was MY dedication to our relationship and MY commitment to supporting him and making him happy. This, in turn, has made me realize that the thing that makes me happiest in life is to please other people. Because of this failed relationship, I have decided to no longer live my life that way. I should never have in the first place, but I truly love(d) him and felt that giving him everything that I had to give would only bring him closer. I guess I was wrong. For the 10 days to follow the break-up, I believe I consumed at the LEAST 5 fifths of Jameson.

I was drinking every night and trying to forget everything, but it was impossible. I'm 25. I don't make-out in bars, I don't go home with strangers, nor do I lead incestuous relationships with my friends. Therefore, all the advice I have been receiving has been,thankfully, for naught. Anyway, this past Saturday, Julia rented a party bus and roller rink for her birthday party. About 50 of us piled on the school bus, 30 packs and whiskey bottles in hand, and headed on our way out to Palatine to party.
Because Marianne and I had been hanging out for a few hours prior to the bus trip, I was already half in the bag. Towards the end of the night, I was so faced that I wiped out while skating and broke my ankle. And I BROKE it badly. After 2 casts and a few days of x-rays and tests, it turns out I need a few pins and a plate put in next Friday.

Broken ankle=no work=no money= WORST FUCKING STRING OF LUCK EVER. Anyone want to contribute to my fund? I need to somehow make money for my internship in Pittsburgh this summer. Who knows? I may not even make it there. I'm waiting for the grand piano to fall on my head...